I have been struggling to focus on projects for a long time now. Photography, music, writing. I sit down and get started only to get sidetracked and have more than a dozen tabs open in two different browsers.
I have wanted to publish a book of my writings and photographs for years now.
I have wanted to record certain pieces of music for years now.
Previously I thought I was not accomplishing these goals because I didn't have the know-how or equipment. Now, I basically have both or the means to acquire both but still I haven't seemed able to finish even a small book or one song. Part of the issue is a perfectionist attitude toward the work. Part has been because of troubles focusing and seeing a task through. Some things just seem to be so big and encompassing that I have no idea where I to start and I get frustrated before I even begin. I know, this is a horrible attitude.
However, lately I have been making a lot of progress. Forcing myself to complete small tasks without ANY interruption has been very helpful in building patience and stamina.
And now, after having the idea in my head to travel to China to teach English and learn Mandarin I have been making lots of progress. Setting my mind to this, I have been able to dedicate literally hours a day to reading, researching online, looking at maps and sending messages to people in order to try and figure out how to get out of my situation here and into China.
I'm not really romantic or delusional about what China will be. I don't imagine tranquility or a whole new outlook on life. I know it will be a struggle and incredibly frustrating for me. I will have to learn to bow to the cultural ways of others instead of obstinately saying those ways are outdated and inefficient. Still, I want to go and challenge myself.
Okay enough for now, hope there was some resolution there.
Tanx for reading. Let me know what you think, insights, opinions, etc.
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