au revoir

Though this blog, in name and content, is mostly about my experiences getting to and being in China, the impetus for the blog was generally about leaving America.  It seems to be I am in the same state again, where getting out of this country or maybe just being somewhere totally new, has become a top priority in my life.

So exigent is this desire that at times I can't sit still and I feel a burn in my skin at the thought of being here, of feeling like I am doing nothing "beyond existing".  It sounds pretty dramatic.

I frequently miss China, though I try not to dwell on decisions I felt I had to make.  There is no way I could idealize China, but maybe a different lifestyle that it harbored for me.  Sometimes there was comfort in the constant chaos often mirroring my mental state but in the end too many situations all across the external and my internal world propelled me to leave in a frantic state.

Whatever, shit doesn't matter now.  Anyway, I am planning a looser trip to Southeast Asia with my adopted twin brother Andrew.  I will probably keep writing on this site due to the fact that I have started way too many other random blogs already and nihao-brian seems most suitable for travel.

The Cure is playing right now in this Starbucks.  I think of a gigantic unfamiliar world.  Can't wait to leave.

tiny reflections

Here is an interesting article about a young man's time teaching in China:  http://middlekingdomlife.com/guide/teaching-english-in-china-enjoying-the-adventure.htm.  It's funny how similar I feel to many of the things he said.

I feel some relief to see certain similar opinions, possibly making me feel like less of an asshole.  I also just finished reading a book titled The Chinese Mind, which my mother recommended.  Personally I didn't like the book and thought it was somewhat chaotically organized, repetitive and unnecessarily oversimplified...specifically concerning American culture compared to Chinese culture. This book did however, make me feel like I should try to be more understanding of certain Chinese behavior patterns.  And, I am still practicing and wanting to understand some things that don't make sense to me, though they seem fundamentally disgusting.  Clearly I've got more work to do....  And to be equally harsh, part of the reason I wanted to leave America in the first place was because I feel many attitudes and behaviors here are fundamentally disgusting.  I will work on becoming more and more open-minded and accepting.

Anyway, I really enjoyed the article on middlekingdomlife.  I try not to think too much about what has passed, but I sometimes find myself wishing I was more tolerant and accepting of my situation in China, and that some things beyond my control that influenced me had never occurred.  I am thankful for my experience in China and I would like to visit and hang out in China again, probably not under circumstances of employment though.

merry christmas

In America, today is the holiday that people tend to get together and give shit to each other; there is and a general feeling of warmth and goodwill between people.  I am currently listening to James Taylor and thinking about the calmness and the feelings this season used to mean to me.  But right now I'm alone and so far away from all my previous associations with Christmas.  None of this is because I'm in China--in fact, I'm no longer in China.

rainy days

The past few days I have been in a daze, feeling glossed over, mechanical.  The off-and-on rain hasn't really brought much of a cooling effect.  Today I slept away most of the day's middle hours, deciding to eat a true breakfast at around 5PM.  Part of this could be the fact that the past few nights I've been up until around 2AM which is pretty drastic for a bookworm like me.  The good news is that I've been out up so late because I have made friends with Chinese people.  From now on I will just call them Chinese friends.  There really is no bad news about this even though that may have sounded like a lead-in, but let me continue...

driving rant

So...things here in crazyland are pretty good.  I'm trying to make some worksheets for classes so it looks like I might know what I'm doing.  But enough small talks...what I'm really about to tell you about is driving in China.  The short answer to the question I'm surprised nobody has asked yet is:  Yes, personal cars should be outlawed in China.

new apartment

Things have settled down a bit as we have been able to rent a room from an American couple and quit living out of hotels.  The internet everywhere we have been has been sketchy and I've been unable to log on a VPN and thus, access this blog.  Tons of great interactions and miscommunications have taken place...take place on a daily basis.  I can't spend much on here now because we have to research for a trip we are going to take to Yellow Mountain.

One badass thing about our new place is that it happens to be...on the top floor and thus...we can get on the roof!!  Check it out!

Just chilling on the roof of our new place...no big deal!

More photos and embarrassing stories soon...

Shànghǎi!!

Umm...we've been in Shànghǎi about a week now.  We have been unbelievably fortunate thus far, receiving money from a handful of people before we left; my father paying for a portion of our plane tickets and vaccinations and one of Shawna's uncle giving her money.  Upon arriving a different uncle of Shawna's had a car pick us up from the airport and drive us to the serviced-apartment which he paid for through the 28th of June and just the other day asked us how long we would like him to extend it.

This city is beyond belief, stretching too far to see any hint of its ending.

View from back exit of where we were staying on Hong Mei Lu.

Okay, I wrote this last week and didn't finish it.  So much stuff happened in Shànghǎi; hopefully I can go back through and write more about it.  I will try to be more timely and complete these from now on.

practice

Today I went with along with Andrew to Dallas to run an errand.  After waiting in the office for a while I went outside to take medicine for a blooming headache.  out in the car I picked up one of my books about living in China and started browsing it.  It begins...

"Is China right for you?" was the first sentence of the book's introduction.  I mentioned in of my first entries how I know many things will be hard for me.  According to what I've read about people who will enjoy or adapt to living in China, I am the perfect candidate to not go.  I don't mind people staring much; that happens a lot here with my long hair and rebel-look.  But, "you'll have a rough time if...you have high standards for cleanliness and service"...I really like cleanliness, I would even say if it could be, it would be a hobby of mine.  As much as I try to be laid back (and have even become more laid back over the past few years), poor customer service is irritating.  There have been times I have ended up walking behind the counters at restaurants because I got tired of waiting for refills.  Also, some people call me patient...but others don't, if you know what I means.  Oh yeah, personal space is always a hobby of mine....

hot pot experience

Last night Shawna and I went over to her grandparent's house for his 83rd birthday.  Admission:  I didn't actually know the gathering was for his birthday, I just went to hang out and try hot pot.  Hot pot is a type of cooking where you have a pot full of simmering water (or stock) in front of you and everybody just drops in the foods they want to cook--veggies, herbs, thinly-sliced meats, seafoods, etc.  The food then cooks in the hot pot.  Pretty straightforward naming system.  After the food is cooked, you take out whatever you threw in the pot and put it or dip it in a bowl with sauces you can mix up to make it spicy or salty.